Who told you that you could do social commentary? Who? You’re for under-informed 90’s pop culture nostalgia and baseless quizzes about what Fall Out Boy lyric best fits my personality. Stop trying to be smart, Buzzfeed. You’re bad at it.
Anyway, I already responded to their first incredibly racist video where black people asked white people questions, and that got a pretty nice response, so I might as well pull my hair out over this new one as well. And since I’m biracial, as this video helpfully informs me, my opinion on white culture is super-extra valid. So that’s good.
Let’s just get this over with again.
Why do you assume only other races like fried chicken? I love fried chicken. That should be a white people stereotype because of me.
If the rest of the video was tongue-in-cheek like this, I might actually like it and think it was humorous. It’s not though.
I also feel inclined to point out that the South exists, and no one is doubting that those white people love them some fried chicken. That’s just a nitpick.
Culture and Language
Why do we make it so we only have pumpkin in the fall? I want pumpkin all the time.
Oh my god, another point that has a sense of humor? Way to go. Well, this video is already beating the last one as far as humor goes–that one had like one-and-a-half funny points at best.
Why can’t white people dance? Seriously, is it genetic or something? Do we have stiff hips or two left feet?
Also humorous, in my opinion. But also indulging in light-hearted racial stereotyping in a way that would not be tolerated if they were talking about literally anyone else, so I’m going to point out the hypocrisy there and move on. In your last video on race, you had black people perpetuate the “white people are lame” stereotype and that was apparently perfectly fine even though white people indulging in similar harmless stereotypes like “Why don’t black people like to go swimming?” would probably be deemed racist. Also you’re probably not going to get a Buzzfeed video about black people asking other black people why they’re so obsessed with wearing too many neck chains.
Edit: Buzzfeed actually did make a “Black People Ask Black People Questions” video! So point to Buzzfeed for actually being consistent. Credit where credit is due. I replied to it as well.
Why do you get so annoyed when other people don’t speak English? English is hard—we have silent ks!
Is this a white people thing? Yeah, there are lots of white people who get pissed off when anyone even suggests that they should learn a second language, but so do other people. Or have you not ever been privy to a black person ranting about how they’re forcing our children to learn Spanish? Because I certainly have. This aversion towards foreign language seems like more of an American thing than a white person thing.
Why do you get so excited to brag on Instagram about going to this really fun, cool cultural festival . . . even though you went with all your white friends?
Fuck them for daring to go to a fun event and wanting to tell people about it while also not having a diversity quota for their friend group, am I right? “I’m sorry, Stacy, I really like you and everything, but there’s only one more spot open in our clique right now and we still need a Black to round everything out. Maybe try again next year after Tina moves to Colorado.”
Oh no, I don’t have any German friends, I guess I better get some before I dare show my face in German Town to get Christmas ornaments this year. Just going there with my actual friends who I hang out with because I enjoy their company would be insulting. Also, are you telling people that they should seek out new friendships with people based on race? Is that not racist? Something tells me that you would call that racist.
Fuck you and your weird obsession with race quotas in everything you do.
Why do you spray tan until you turn orange? Can’t you just be comfortable in your own body?
Wow, way to make fun of people with poor body image, further stigmatizing and de-legitimizing it as a serious issue faced by people today, particularly young girls. Just kidding. But seriously, guys, it’s way too easy to use SJW rhetoric against them. You should give it a try.
Also, doesn’t the notion that pale people are so desperate to have a darker skin tone they turn themselves orange kind of work against Buzzfeed’s insistence that we have “white” beauty standards. If anything this would point to a society that values racial ambiguity.
Media and Entertainment
Why do you think since you’ve seen five seasons of The Wire you’re a “cultural expert.”
The Wire was made by a white guy. Just saying. Also, are black people just automatically “cultural experts” on the subject? Even the black people who in no way lived in that same environment? Can Will Smith’s kids claim instant cultural expertise on “black culture (which you have, for some reason, centered solely in urban ghettos)? What about the white people who live in urban ghettos? Do they not have anything to say on the matter?
Oh no, nuance! RUN.
Why do you believe everything that you see on TV when it comes to other races?
Because no one else ever does this, right? Only white people.
Why do you get upset when a TV show becomes “diverse,” even when diverse usually only means two to three people of color?
Who gets upset over this kind of thing save for the very vocal minority on Twitter who is immediately lambasted by everyone else, white people included, for being racist? Who? What random white person off the street is mad about this? And no, people who don’t like the new diverse character because they’re not a good character, don’t count as racists. I also love how nothing is good enough for you guys: “Yeah, you have three black people in the show, but you don’t count as diverse until you have five black people, dammit! Maybe even ten.”
Why do you assume movies with white stars are more relatable than movies with people of color? People of color have had to relate to white people for all of cinematic history.
Once again, who is assuming this? Just saying that white people assume this doesn’t mean they do. This seems like more of a lowest-common-denominator, focus-group, out-of-touch film executive idea than one that can be applied to the whole of society. This is also rather hypocritical on your part seeing as how you’re the same group of people who say that people of color can only truly relate to characters who look like them, and when they’re not represented in a film, that means black people have no one to relate to in the story. So what, it’s okay for black people to relate to black characters more than characters of any other race, but when white people do the same thing, then it’s racist? You can’t have it both ways. You’re also the same group of people that insists that any story with a person of color as the focus tells a story “about the non-white experience,” no matter what the story is, denying the universality that you then complain about not having. Make up your mind.
Also, if you ever bother to do research, fame cancels this out. Will Smith and Morgan Freeman and Edris Elba and Eddie Murphy can be cast as the totes-relatable main character and people will love it. Statistically, white people pay more money to the overall movie/film industry by buying movie tickets and DVDs and whatnot, which means dumb movie executives will want to appeal to them more. They’re also more likely to support “black movies” of more esoteric genres than black people are themselves. Black people have also proven that the only movies that they watch in consistently large numbers in theaters are “mainstream” movies that have mostly black people. (And I have a whole rant about how those movies usually suck because they take advantage of the basic standards of their audience who seem to care more about the cast than the actual merit of the film. But that’s another rant.) So are those black people being racist?
Also, how America-centric of you. You realize the rest of the world both exists and makes movies right? But all those Korean films leave out everyone of racial importance (read: black and white people), so we don’t watch those!
Why is Viola Davis the first black person to when an Emmy for Best Actress?
Because she was the first black person who was a lead actress in a drama that was good enough to win the Emmy? What do you want from me? If you want to complain about this, complain about casting in general, not award shows that happen after the fact. Can you name a significant number of black women that were good enough to win an award? This is very specific criteria. You have to be black, the indisputable lead actress (no ensemble casts), in a show that is indisputably a drama (dramadies go under comedy), produced by people who go through the campaign work and put in the funds necessary to apply for and get potentially put in the running for an award. You don’t just get nominated.
I’m a pop culture buff. Filling my brain with useless television and film minutiae is what I do. And I can think of three actresses who fit that criteria, maybe four if you really stretch the definition of “lead actress” and “drama.” The others I can think of are in dramadies, ensemble casts, or aren’t top billed characters. Do you have a list of women who fit that extremely specific criteria but got beat out by someone who objectively didn’t deserve it? This sounds like someone complaining about something they probably don’t even care about, let alone have the opinions to actually back up. “We need more black women!” “Who do you have in mind?” “I don’t know, we just need more!”
Also, do we only care about women now? Is it only black women we hate? I guess a black man has won before, so you’d have to be more specific. Are you also just going to totally ignore that being the first winner doesn’t mean that she was the first black woman to be nominated? Are you also going to ignore that black women have won for Best Supporting Role as well as Best Ensemble Cast for multiple shows? Are you going to ignore that black men and women are actually over-represented among Emmy winners once you account for the winners in areas like writing, music, makeup, set design, etc.? Hell, one of the biggest show runners in television is a black woman. But only actors are important, because you don’t actually care about this topic beyond your shallow investment in surface demographics. Are you going to ignore that the Emmy’s are usually only about four TV shows and it just so happened that Viola Davis’s show was one of them this year? Okay.
Why aren’t we complaining that the Oscars and all the other award shows are all white? That’s just like white people congratulating other white people on being white.
Wow. If somebody said this string of words in front of me, I might actually punch them in the face. “It’s just like white people congratulating other white people for being white.” FUCK YOU. Seriously. Fuck you. I don’t even like the Oscars half the time because there’s a very typical type of movie that tends to get nominated/win. You know, Oscar bait–either something with a gimmick (think Birdman) or something about how ___-ism is bad (think Selma or Dallas Buyer’s Club). That being said: FUCK YOU.
Let’s just totally forget that Birdman swept the Oscars last year, and almost all the people who won something for it were Latino. Let’s forget that those same people swept it again the next year. Or that Big Hero 6 won for best animated film. Or that the winner for best score was Asian. Let’s just forget that shit because it’s inconvenient. Once again, this is a surface level understanding of what goes into making film where you only care who wins best actor and turn it off afterwards.
“It’s nothing but white people congratulating other white people on being white.”
I don’t even know what to say to that. As someone who loves film, and all aspects of film, and wants to work in film someday, I find this egregiously insulting. To play the identity politics game that you SJWs love to play–I’m an economically disenfranchised black woman. And if I ever found myself in the position where I was up for an Oscar somehow, I sincerely hope that you and people like you are not the ones deciding who gets it. I sincerely hope so. It’s not like those actors who won worked hard and deserved the recognition and deserved someone telling them that they did a good job. It’s not like the writers spent years working on a script that would be good enough to film. No–they’re only being celebrated because they’re white. No other fucking reason. They’re objectively terrible at writing and acting and directing and whatever else they did and deserve no accolades whatsoever because they do nothing of merit. But, hey, they’re white, so let’s give it to them anyway over the truly deserving black person, no other reason. Fuck you.
Also, here’s a belated congratulations, Viola Davis. You’re a good actress and I’m happy to see you in more things.
Why don’t we know the difference between appropriation and appreciation?
I’ve already done several posts on this topic. Go read those. There is no difference, it’s just appropriation when white people do it. Culture is a set of actions and ideas assigned meaning – They don’t apply to someone by default. You can be a certain ethnicity but not relate to your ethnicity’s culture. This is yet another idea that puts people in boxes before you know anything about them.
Why can’t we figure out how to make our own pop culture, our own slang, our own cool clothes, instead of stealing other people’s cool clothes and saying that they’re our cool clothes?
Wow, are you seriously doing this, Buzzfeed? Are you seriously about to force me into yet another rant two seconds after I got done ranting? Okay, breathe. I just have to breathe . . .
Apparently, according to you, white people do have their own pop culture – film and tv, for instance – and you are the ones getting mad at them for not sharing their pop culture with everyone else. So having your own shit is good unless you’re a white person in which case it’s racist if you do not let everyone else have it too? Why aren’t you mad that the NBA is overwheingly black? It’s just black people congratulating other black people for being black at that point, isn’t it? No? Okay.
So. You’re not for cultural segregation, huh? Two can play at that game. Hey, anyone whose not white: stop drinking ale. I kind of want to say stop drinking beer in general, but that seems a bit much–but you should stop drinking ale or mead or gin, definitely stop drinking vodka. Those are only for white people. Hey, anyone whose not Japanese: don’t use text abbreviations. You know–lol, ttfn, hru. Stop using those, because text-lingo originated in Japan. Anyone who isn’t German specifically needs to stop saying fuck. Good thing I’m German-Irish on my mom’s side, then. Also, literally the entire rest of the world that isn’t America needs to stop wearing blue jeans because those are a purely American-originating type of clothing. You don’t want to appropriate American culture, do you? All you black kids who are really into karate or kungfu? Stop that shit right now. All the cholos are going to be so heartbroken when they figure out that it’s culturally insensitive to wear Scottish tartan patterns. I also hope that no black emo girl has ever worn a corset. Wait a minute, corsets are a staple of lingerie, so no more lingerie for anyone who isn’t European! We should call up all the Asians and Latinos who fancy themselves rappers and tell them to stop stealing it from black people too. Fuck you, G-Dragon!
Keep your shit to yourself, world! Cultures don’t change. Languages don’t change. Art doesn’t change. It should all stick to itself and never have outside influences ever, especially if it’s connected to white people in any way. That’s how you show respect.
Why are white people obsessed with Wes Anderson?
I love Wes Anderson. Come at me.
Why would you ever say “thug life”? It’s a bad life.
Ironically? Oh, I forgot, SJWs don’t have the capacity to realize that intent matters a lot in language. Never mind.
What do you have against seasoning and spiciness? Christopher Columbus discovered America looking for spices, you know? Also, why are casseroles a thing?
Seriously, England. Vinegar is not a condiment. Also, anyone who isn’t Eastern European needs to give up their casserole privileges. The Russians have never not been egregiously oppressed by someone, so casseroles are their thing. #CulturalPurity
Why do you try to avoid confrontation at all costs?
Why are you assigning very specific character traits to an entire race of people? You’re being confrontational right now, for fucks sake. But that would mean acknowledging that “white” isn’t some nebulous, formless blob with no distinguishing characteristics of places or individual people, and we can’ t have that.
Why is it crazy that I’m white and I have a big butt?
It’s not. Next.
Why is it such a big deal when somebody doesn’t want to hike?
Hey black people, why is it such a big deal when your white friend doesn’t want to go to Popeye’s for dinner? Guess which of these two jokes is unacceptable? You have one chance, and if you get it wrong you’re an idiot.
Talking About Race
Why do you keep talking about reverse racism? That is not a thing. We are the people in power. Racism is about oppression. Sorry, white people have not been oppressed.
It’s like you’re trying to get me to have a heart attack, Buzzfeed. You’re right, though, reverse racism doesn’t exist. Because being racist towards white people is just flat-out racism, there’s no reverse about it. The power + oppression thing is your revised definition of the term, SJWs. You can’t just act like that’s how it really is because you can change words to mean whatever you want. Also, white people have never been oppressed, huh? Let me just run on down to rural Appalachia where they still use Coca-Cola as currency, it’s uncommon to have more than a fifth grade education because people actively tried to stop them from building schools, and everyone’s grand-dad is dying of black lung because they were taken advantage of as borderline slave labor working in the mines and quarries. I’ll tell them that they’ve never been systematically oppressed.
Why are you too afraid to speak up when someone says something racist?
This is something that most people deal with. Most people aren’t prone to making a scene even if they personally don’t like something. This isn’t just white people. Also, I’m fairly sure your standards for what constitutes call-out worthy racism are fucking ridiculous. But that’s just me assuming something about you, oh no.
Why do we think that having one friend of color means that nothing we say or do can ever possibly be racist?
Why do you think that someone just not being white means that nothing they say or do could ever possibly be racist?
Why does being half-white automatically make my commentary on white culture only half-true? I’m just as much white as I am Mexican.
I don’t even get this one. I’m half-white too, dude. I guess our dissenting opinions about how much white people suck just canceled everything out for biracial people everywhere.
Why do you think that “black lives matter” means that your life doesn’t matter? Every life matters, it’s just that one has a harder time living.
Statistically speaking, the ones who have the “hardest time living” are homeless men, race being a random, non-significant factor dependent on the demographics of the place they’re in. If we’re going by racial groups killed by the cops in proportion to their overall numbers in America, Native American men are being disproportionately killed by cops way more than black people. And if we’re talking strict numbers without taking into account proportionality, more white men are unlawfully killed every day by police officers than black ones. Where are all the hashtag-tivists being outraged about how many homeless men and Native Americans and white people who are unlawfully killed by the police? You can’t act like one group deserves more attention because they objectively have it the worst and then just ignore that they don’t actually objectively have it the worst. Police brutality is a big issue in America, but I have a problem with Black Lives Matter because they treat it like something that only happens to black people and don’ t seem interested in addressing concrete changes that could be made to help. And still no talk about the failed drug war from you Black Lives Matter folks, even though the drug war is the driving force behind the police regulations that disproportionately target black people. Nope, we just need to talk about vague racism and act like there’s no other reason that shit’s happening.
Why do you get offended when you see a table full of black people, but not when you see a lunchroom full of white people?
Who get’s offended at this? Also, I’m pretty sure that’s just how demographics work. Living in a place with a majority white populace isn’t a fucking crime, Buzzfeed. Also, from my personal experience, the black kid’s table at the cafeteria was exclusionary and racist as fuck, which is why I both didn’t want to and wasn’t allowed to sit there with them (me being an Oreo and everything). So, go up to that table full of black people, as a white person, and try sitting with them and see what happens. Then get one of your ever-present black friends to do the same, just with a table of white people, and then get back to me and tell me which person felt more uncomfortable. But wait a minute, I forgot, being overtly racists towards white people is fine because it’s not racism! Barf.
Why do you always ask to have a white people club? You already do, it’s the student union. They have a black student union because you don’t represent them well.
Is this about the whole, “Why do we need race-based buildings/clubs?” idea that is floating around college campuses. I agree that a “white people club” would be stupid. I also think that having clubs or buildings specifically for people of color also makes no sense. At least the Women’s Center makes sense when you take into account things like women-specific medical needs, but what is so different about white people and literally everyone else that they need their own spaces away from each other?
Also, from my personal experience, yet again (sorry for all the anecdotes, guys), having spaces that either implicitly or explicitly exclude white people in order to make a “safe space” for people of color generally lead to extreme cliquishness where no one hangs out with anyone who isn’t of their own race. Diversity?
Why do you see the success of people of color as a threat to you?
Who thinks this? Who. And why do they represent all white people?
You know that a two-minute video about whiteness isn’t reverse racism right? Two minutes about whiteness . . . hundreds of years of systemic oppression? Yeah, I think we can deal with this.
“It’s okay to be racist towards white people because white people were mean to people in the past, and now it’s their turn to be unfairly judged for nothing except the color of their skin!” Yay, self-flagellation and vindictiveness.
Why are we upset about immigrants when we were the first immigrants? And we were white people running away from other white people. That kind of shows you how bad white people can be.
Doesn’t that go against your whole “White people were never mistreated or oppressed” idea? No? Whatever. Also, just going to sweep the atrocities committed by literally every other race, sometimes towards white people and sometimes not, under the rug. It’s only white people who do bad things. And it’s only ever been white people who have ever done bad things. And it really only matters when they do those bad things to people who aren’t also white. Nothing wrong ever happened in China!
Wow, I didn’t think it could get worse than their last video. But it did. My expectations need some revision, guys.